A Bit from My Mind

Let me tell you what’s been on my mind lately. Recently I’ve come to the knowledge that several people with whom I have or have had varying relationships with have fallen on some hard times. Their relationships with God have all been on the decline which, in my mind, has led to the poor decisions that they’ve made that brought them to their predicament. Granted, there were other circumstances at play that also led to the difficulties, but the positions in which they find themselves can be directly tied with the decisions they’ve made as a result of those other circumstances. This knowledge of their predicaments has bugged the hell out of me.

I have found varying degrees of guilt festering in my mind along with anger and sorrow. The idea of people I know or have known suffering really makes me sick. For one, I look back on the time I was able to spend with these people and realize all the opportunities wasted that I had to strengthen the relationship that might have led to better decisions from these people in the future. I look back on the times when I thought the person’s decisions problematic for the future and neglected to say anything. These things weigh heavy on my mind.

I struggle now with what my response is to these situations. Some of the people I have not talked to in several years and I fear what the reaction might be if I attempt communication. Others, our relationship has never been one that’s open to struggles and triumphs, but rather a casual friendship; still, I feel I can do something. Also, I’ve been struggling with the limited time I have to be available to these people. I am scheduled to leave for service with OM August 16^th which is a little under one month away. I have moving to do, people to see, and loose ends to tie up, where am I going to find the time and energy to concern myself with these people?

Then there’s God trying to teach me a lesson in all of this. Jesus says in Luke 19:10, “For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.” It’s God’s want, desire, passion, whatever overly used descriptive word you want to use, to see lost people come back to Him. Not lost as in they haven’t spoken the secret password of “Jesus, I’m a sinner” and come to “salvation”, but rather, lost in the sense that they’ve, with words or with actions, told God, “I’d rather you be dead,” and gone off to do their own thing. Lost in the sense that the shepherd has left the other 99 sheep to go and find the one that ran off into the woods. It’s something almost poetic God seeking the lost; not formulaic where we pray and God takes us in.

I’ve taken this lesson and I’ve taken these people that have been on my mind to God and said, “Well God, you want them back, and I want them back. What is it we can do to get this done?” In this question, I again struggled with guilt (Maybe if you did a little more, they wouldn’t have run off in the first place?), anger (God, why did you let them run off in the first place?), and sorrow (I really miss them. I wish they wouldn’t have run off in the first place.), and I’ve struggled with my limited ability to physically do anything. However, in this question, God has given me the answer; prayer.

Cue the cheesy music, cue the “Oh come on’s”; I realize how clichéd that sounds, but that’s the answer. God wants those people back and I want those people back with Him as well. But, I’m not the one who is capable of bringing these people back. I’m not even responsible for bringing these people back, God is. If I want to be involved in this rescue, as it were, my first investment is to bring to God my desire to see these people returned. Partition on their behalf how much I’d like to see them come back to right relationship with God, and things will start moving.

Quite often our response to situations where we want to see God work is, “All right, what where should I set up; what should I do?” looking for some role to play physically. But really, we need to step back and allow God to do the work; letting Him know how much we’d like to see the work done. Then, further along in the process, a position might open up where God will allow us to take part. After investing in prayer, I believe, we’ll easily be able to step into that position.

All of this to say, I am now fervently invested in bringing these people back to God. He and I have been in conversation quite frequently about these people and I look forward to seeing what role I might be able to play in the future.